Why Teal Died
Suzanne Falter is a best-selling self-help author, speaker, and singer who has been featured in More, Fitness, The New York Times, Woman’s Day, New Woman, The Wall Street Journal, SELF, The Christian Science Monitor, as well as more than 100 TV and radio programs. She has spoken and performed across much of the US, as well as Canada and the UK. She is the author of How Much Joy Can You Stand and Living Your Joy.
Currently Suzanne is blogging and speaking about the impact of losing her daughter, Teal Barns, who dropped dead suddenly at the age of 22 in 2012. Suzanne is writing a guided book about her own personal evolution as the result of her daughter’s death. You can find Suzanne’s collected work at thespiritualfeast.com or on her Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/sfalterbarns.
I wrote this poem the day after my 22 year old daughter, Teal, died from a sudden, unexplainable cardiac arrest. It was her greatest wish to be a healer in this life … and so she is from the afterlife. This was her message, whispered in my ear, not long after we took her off of life support.
In her lifetime Teal suffered from epilepsy, panic and anxiety — and yet she still managed to travel the world, hitch hiking with her backpack, playing her guitar and singing for whomever would listen. In the end it was her desire to be a healer that brought her down, not her epilepsy. For it will never be known if she suffered a seizure or simply died because it was her time.
In it is a message of faith, hope and the eternal love that shines through us all. And it is this that I learned from her in her beautiful — and quite perfect — life and death.
I simply know I was blessed to be her mother.
Why Teal Died
The grass is too tall and I cannot wade through it
You have given me your heart and your faith
But maybe I can’t deliver
In this body I am not whole
I almost am … but not quite
And yet, there is another way
A way filled with so much grace, light
And love that … Mom …
How can I resist?
If I am meant to heal others
Isn’t this the truest path?
I am a beacon of light now
And so I help others to find their way
It’s already happening!
The healing in your heart and their hearts
Is absolute and contingent on nothing
It is pure and requires only love
And the sharing of this word from one
To the next
You will recover
Every last one of you
And life will burn on with or without me
For that is what is true for all of us
Forget or remember, as you so choose
But please never cease to love